So it's been another long while. Got the day off from work, hanging at The Starfish's, babysitting Noa, trying to get my thoughts for the past 2 months organized, and learn to plan for my future; 1 month ahead to begin with. Sounds like growing up to me.
Working at the zoo has been rather confusing for me. A mixed of emotions with regards. Frustration within contentment. Confusion within goals. Numbness within passion.
Starfish concluded I may be going through a transition period.
A passionate job that will pay off everything that is required to live life without materialistic pressure. Too greedy? Wishful thinking? I don't think so. I believe. I just have to keep searching.
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The above was written more than a month ago. I had it saved as a draft, meaning to continue, and, well, here I am.
So I resigned from the one place where I thought would bring my life to fulfilment finally.
Since young I have always dreamed of being a zookeeper, amongst other glamorous ambitions.
Today, Singapore Zoo is just another disapoointment. It wasn't what I had dreamed. It was just another phase I had to go through. Which means to say, it was a great working experience while it lasted. It also made me see things as it is; entertainment business.
Conserving wasn't the matter. Business was very much it. So much so that it almost felt like 'conserving' was manipulated into 'business'. I'd hate to think it this way. Perhaps with my ignorant mindset that I feel that Singapore Zoo was less, or no longer about conservation.
I thought I could save myself from the disappointment by looking into a change of environment, a different department. Least to say, to my further disappointment, not only did they reject my transfer, I was almost discouraged from going into zookeeping. Why? Because it's tougher on the other side.
On the other hand there were the few who advised and encouraged. The few who sees the problem of the management, but can't bear to leave the animals they have been with. Kudos.
While looking for a way into zookeeping, I also opened up my career options; vet assisting, hospitality, stewarding etc.
Perhaps through much desperate thought, the universe found its voice to me. A buddy/cohort from zoo, told of a vet clinic looking for vet assistants (vet nurses to be exact, I just prefer the term 'assistant', less feminine). Figured this would probably be my chance.
Sent in my resume. Got a call the next morning. Went down for an interview the same day. And got confirmed the day after.
At this point I should be feeling quite excited about it. A career, where I work with animals (!)
So why am I not? Instead, I'm nervous. And not a pleasant one.
Perhaps it was the environment; definately not as spacious as the zoo. Perhaps it was the idea that this is my first full time job and I'm feeling intimidated. Or perhaps I have been disappointed by my own dream ambition.
Nonetheless, I got the job. A fresh start for the new year. I should be thankful. And that I am.
On another note, Starfish and I had never had our month-versary, because we'd never really know when we became official. But I like it this way. This will probably make Valentine's Day a little more special :)
