I wish I could count to ten

"I close my eyes when I get too sad
I think thoughts that I know are bad
Close my eyes and I count to ten
Hope it's over when I open them

I want the things that I had before
Like a Starwars poster on my bedroom door
I wish I could count to ten
And make everything be wonderful again..."

Everclear - Wonderful

Sometimes when you go into a spiral of bad thoughts, it's hard to get yourself out.

So I seek solace in Goo Goo Dolls' Slide, Everclear's Wonderful, Alanis Morisette's You Learn, Jewel's Standing Still...

Everything takes time. Everything. Learning, growing, understanding, accepting.

Time isn't exactly favoured. Everybody needs time. Everybody wants time. But it isn't favoured.

Time flies. Time drags. Time stretches the mind. Time forces you to take control.

Losing time means losing control. And I don't like losing it.

Time tells when you should feel relief. It tells when you're going completely psycho.

Time is precious. It never turns back.

*BREATHES*

I don't like the feeling of something being hidden from me.

I am sick. And I am not amazing.

I am grumpy. Annoyed. Frustrated. Exhausted.

I.want.to.be.pampered.

AND I AM NOT AMAZING.