Love, Peace & Ice Cream - Ben & Jerry's

Wend's 23rd birthday party (2 weeks ago) was rainy (no bbq marshmellows *sad*), warm (girlies plus the sarong Bambie bought for us from her Thailand trip) and real nice (food). Wend of course showed more interest in the bills then the montage. Naughty girl. But since she was feeling quite under the weather, she's totally forgiven *SAYANG*

Munk's back in town. Catching up (2 nights ago - office (Moose & Munk) - Fraser's Place (Moose, Munk & Gale) - Liat Tower's Burger King (Moose, Munk, Ziddy & Cuz) - PS Starbucks (Munk, Just, Andy Drewy) - Bencoolen St (Munk, Just, Andy Drewy & later on Benny) was great fun.

Hung out at Ikea Tampines with Moosey yesterday. And his parents. It was like a trip to the zoo. So many things to see and hit Moose with. I just can't help attempting to abuse him like that. One unintentional hit (flick of towel) kinda made the trip all worth the while (decided not to go to work). Got dragged to a not so small family function at Moose's auntie's place. No money, no marriage k Moose.

It felt like being with the Seremban gang seeing his family. Noisy, family.

Moose's in love with the lead singer of Ben & Jerry's in-house band. Cos she's pretty and sings good. Pfff. Tyical. Didn't appreciate Eric Clapton's Beautiful Tonight, Micheal Learns to Rock's 25 Minutes Too Late (@#$%&^?!). Makes me sad. Then it was The Wonder's That Thing You Do & Pearl Jam's Last Kiss that cheered me up.

Apocalypto was epic. Mel Gibson has not dissappoint. Very late supper back at Bencoolen with Moose and Yzzy. Poor gurl's under the weather too. Feel like I'm coming down with something myself.

Friends & family & music & furballs & trees & money are the best things in life.

Horoscope says I should work today. Hmmm...

Snuggle...?

Papa Roach - Scars

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

Drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
I'm pissed cause you came around
Why don't you just go home
Cause you channel all your pain
And I can't help you fix yourself
You're making me insane
All I can say is

[Chorus:]
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

I tried to help you once
Against my own advice
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That you're drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassions in my nature
Tonight is our last stand

[Chorus]

I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
You shouldn't ever came around
Why don't you just go home?
Cause you're drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand
And I left my heart open
But you didn't understand
But you didn't understand
Go fix yourself

I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life

[Chorus x2] 

Rivermaya - You'll be safe here

Nobody knows
Just why we’re here
Could it be fate
Or random circumstance
At the right place
At the right time
Two roads intertwine

And if the universe conspired
To meld our lives
To make us
Fuel and fire
Then know
Where ever you will be
So too shall I be

Chorus:

Close your eyes
Dry your tears
‘Coz when nothing seems clear
You’ll be safe here

From the sheer weight
Of your doubts and fears
Weary heart
You’ll be safe here

Remember how we laughed
Until we cried
At the most stupid things
Like we were so high
But love was all that we were on
We belong

And though the world would
Never understand
This unlikely union
And why it still stands
Someday we will be set free.
Pray and believe

Chorus:

When the light disappears
And when this world’s insincere
You’ll be safe here
When nobody hears you scream
I’ll scream with you
You’ll be safe here

Save your eyes
From your tears
When everything’s unclear
You’ll be safe here

From the sheer weight
Of your doubts and fears
Wounded heart

When the light disappears
And when this world’s insincere
You’ll be safe here

When nobody hears you scream
I’ll scream with you
You’ll be safe here

In my arms
Through the long cold night
Sleep tight
You’ll be safe here

When no one understands
I’ll believe
You’ll be safe,
You’ll be safe
You’ll be safe here
Put your heart in my hands
You’ll be safe here

***********************************

If you haven't heard this beautiful piece, hear it now.

Puddle of Mud - Away From Me

Yea
Look at me now
Just sittin here by myself
And I think you found someone else
Now I'm gonna have to find
A way to put the bottle down
And why can’t you see
That I’m drowning in a pool of misery

I’m always afraid
That you’re gone
Away from me
I’m always afraid
That you’re lost in somebody
I’m always afraid
That you’re gone
Away from me
I’m always afraid
That you’re lost

So here I am
I wanna be by myself
And I think you’re fucking someone else
now im gonna have to find a way
To take the knife out of my back
And how could you leave me
Stranded in a closet full of bones

I’m always afraid
That you’re gone
Away from me
I’m always afraid
That you’re lost in somebody
I’m always afraid
That you’re gone
Away from me
I’m always afraid
That you’re lost

Maybe you could let me stay
Maybe just for one more day
You could help me stay the same
Maybe things won’t ever change
Maybe we could taste the rain
You could push me out the way

Now I sit here by myself
Think about somebody else
How could you let them take you away from me
There’s somebody else
There’s somebody else!


***********************************************************

I understand... I see... What am I to do? Sit around and wait?

I can't wait anymore. I'm tired. I want to move on.

I'm sorry you're hurting. But I can't pick you up anymore. I have myself to take care of.

I miss you.

I miss you love

It's been almost 2 months since we broke up. And it had to end this way. How many times must I repeat myself before I start losing it and yell it into your face? How many times must I explain myself? And must I? Isn't love about understanding? Even when we fight?

I hate you now. I hate the way you make me feel (now); so miserable for doing nothing wrong.

You said you had hope. And just what did you do these 2 months? Did you come looking for me? Were any flowers delivered to me? Did you ask to see me? You don't even ask how I am.

You asked if I'm seeing someone. I said yes. Now come to think of it, why did I even tell you? I should've know better. I should've known you'd react the way you've been for the past 1 month. But I was willing to give the benefit of the doubt. That we would be adult about it.

You asked if I love you. You asked if I missed you. You asked if I still care. You asked all the questions that satisfies your heart. And then you got mad at me for being able to move on faster than you did. Just what did you expect? Wait for you to find someone before I move on?

You asked what if the roles were reversed. Don't you think I have thought about it? Thought about you seeing other people? Thought about you smiling while you're talking to her? Laughing at her wit? Holding her in your arms? Kissing her sweetly? Having it all that I had with you? You don't think I've thought about all that?

If that had happened, what could I have possibly done? I could only stick to my own world and feel sad & miserable. But I would never have done what you've been doing. I would never have taunt you for having found someone else. I would have felt like shit. But I want you happy too.

You say you want me happy. Then what is all these? Why are you threatening to hurt the people I care about? Because of your jealousy? You say whatever you want? And to me? Do you have a heart at all?

Who's to pick me up when I was broken? We broke up. You have no obligations to me. Neither do I have of you. Why are you being so selfish? You couldn't take me for all that I was. You make me deal with my own issues. I accepted that. You know very well yourself what kinda of man you have become. And I have ran out of patience and strength. Now that I'm able to move on, pick myself up, you punish me for it.

I should've change my number. People tell me if I love you enough I wouldn't have moved on this quick. What is this? A competition?

Look beneath:

It was a 3 years relationship. I saw the rest of my life with you. I saw us travelling, and possibly having kids & definatelty puppies. I saw us growing old. I saw us going places. I never saw this. I never saw I'd become so over-bearing. Never saw you'd give me excuses. Never saw that I'd go absolutely psycho because you don't give me one minute of attention.

We broke up. Because we changed. Things changed. We got tired. We couldn't deal anymore. We understood that. I thought you did.

But now I see that whatever it is that I do, it's all my fault. It's always me hurting you. Isn't it?

I would've walked miles for you. I would've done anything for you. Just to be with you. I have. And you know that. You broke my dreams. You broke my heart. I hate my weakness.

My moments of weakness with you is a reminder to me to be better everyday.

Along the way, something nice came along. Something distracted me of my weakness and finally puts a smile to my gloomy face, although it only lasts for awhile, compared to the tiny moments you have given me which can last me through any agonizingly horrendously painful days, it was just nice to have something forgotten again. Something which you forgot to give, which I have been missing for a long time, while we lost ourselves in fights.

Was that so wrong that you have to punish me for it now? So wrong that my love is being judged?

All I want is for someone to guide me through. And I thought it will always be you. You had that strength which I need. You were my everything. But you lost yourself as well.

And now you wouldn't even give me space to find my own happiness on my own, in my own ways. You kept judging me. In your eyes, I will always be that weak, that selfish. But amidst your judging, you forgot you made mistakes too. And I don't even blame you for it anymore.

I never thought I'd want you out of my life but I do. I cannot bear any more of you.

You make me want to be alone.

Am I ever gonna step out again?