My Happy Ending / He Wasn't

Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did
Was it something you said

Don't leave me hanging in a city so dead
Held up so high on such a breakable thread

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

He was everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be supposed to be but we lost it
All of the memories so close to me just fade away
All these time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending

You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they

But they don't know me
Do they even know you
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

He was everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be supposed to be but we lost it
All of the memories so close to me just fade away
All these time you were pretending so much for my happy ending

It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you care
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

He was everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be supposed to be but we lost it
All of the memories so close to me just fade away
All these time you were pretending so much for my happy ending

***********************************************************

There's not much going on today
I'm really bored it's getting late
What happened to my Saturdays
Monday's coming, the day I hate

Sit on the bed alone
Staring at the phone

He wasn't what I wanted, what I thought no
He wouldn't even open up the door
He doesn't make me feel like I was special
He isn't really what I'm looking for

This is when I start to bite my nails
And cleam my room when all else fails
I think it's time for me to bail
This point of view is getting stale

He wasn't what I wanted, what I thought no
He wouldn't even open up the door
He doesn't make me feel like I was special
He isn't really what I'm looking

He wasn't what I wanted, what I thought no
He wouldn't even open up the door
He doesn't make me feel like I was special
Like I was special, cos I was special

Inconsolable

The truth is, I am ashamed of being that angry bitch for that few hours.

But I don't really regret it.

Because I sure as hell did not deserve to deal with your fucked up attitude.

I am a man of peace & love. A typical justful Libran.

If it is unjust attitude you give, unjust treatment you will get.

Finley Quaye & WIlliam Orbit - DICE

I was crying over you
I am smiling I think of you
Where your gardens have no walls

Breathe in the air if you care, you compare, don't say farewell
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and you swear your love's for me
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and you swear your love's for me

I was crying over you
I am smiling I think of you
Misty mornings and water fall

Breathe in the air if you care, you compare, don't say farewell
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and you swear your love's for me
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and you swear your love's for me
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and you swear your love's for me

Virtuous sensibility
Escape velocity
Nothing can compare

To when you roll the dice and you swear your love's for me
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and you swear your love's for me
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and you swear your love's for me
Breathe in the air if you care, you compare, don't say farewell
Nothing.

**************************************************

Mawia got me hooked since she asked about this song.

I love it too.

For some weird reason I dreamt I saw VJ.
When there's VJ, there'll be Angel.

And he was... gonna... rap... to some... R&B... uhh... song. Haha. 
And we were his, supports O_O Along with alot of other, Indian boys.

Then I dreamt of Fai (???) He was working at this Catholic Church (?!) 
He showed me a picture of this beautiful church (jaded-emerald-gold facade), 
I asked where it is, he mentioned some weird place 
and the name of the Catholic church was San Diego.

It happened to be his email add. For real. -_-

So yeah, he was working as some sorta orhanage volunteer at the church.
I remember Diyar & some other Malay dudes I used to see at poly were there too.
Helping out. Watching them play with the kids, making them laugh.
It was music to the ears.

I felt this awefully sweet warmth...

Thinking about it now... and I'm melting.

300 was, 2 hours of romance for me.

Sword strike of elegance...
The thrust of his spear...
The grace of blood...
Strong wield of shield...
His cocky humour reminded me...
And all over again.

Good luck to me.

Foo Fighters - Best of You

I've got another confession to make, I'm your fool
Everyone's got their chains to break, holding you
Were you born to resist, or be abused?

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

Are you gone and on to someone new?
I needed somewhere to hang my head, without your noose
You gave me something that I didn't have, but had no use
I was too weak to give in, too strong to lose
My heart is under arrest again, but I break loose
My head is giving me life or death, but I can't choose
I'll swear I'll never give in, I'll refuse

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith? It's real
The pain you feel?
Your trust?
You must confess.
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith? Its real.
The pain you feel?
The life? The love, you died to hear?
The hope that stops the broken hearts?
Your trust?
You must confess

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

've got another confession my friend, I'm no fool
I'm getting tired of starting again, somewhere new
Were you born to resist, or be abused?
I swear I'll never give in, I'll refuse

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith? It's real.
The pain you feel?
Your trust?
You must confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

Don't judge of my composure cos I'm lying to myself

It's been quite a ride of emotions the past fews day, in my head.

It was an unexpected encounter.

I felt like crying, laughing, fuming at the same time.

Took awhile for me to get over myself and for reality to sink in.

Even then it's still pretty darn dark.

I'm trying to look for a light. If not within myself. But I figured, why depend on anything else; I'm just as unsure.

Time flies and still feel like such a long time.

I'm looking for that light nonetheless. Even if it only shines for abit. I'm gonna keep looking for them all. I know they're out there.

Feeling a little lost. Overwhelmed.

I know I'm not alone. I'm just incomplete.

"And I wanna believe you... when you tell me that it'll be okay.... and I try to believe you... tomorrow it may change..."