Sunday, April 20, 2008

Terrified. Petrified. Mortified. And stupified by you. - John Nash -

Watched: A Beautiful Mind.

Time flies and still feels like a long time.

Been out of job since the beginning of March. So what have I been doing?

Thinking. Alot.

And feeling negative.

I'm useless. Undetermined. Unmotivated. Easily annoyed. Depressed. Stupid. Broke. Cynical. Skeptical. More judgemental. Just plain unhappy with myself.

And it only melts away with ice-creamy and chocolatey moments. Oh also when I saw Fit, Fai and Fau on the streets of Orchard and my long time brofriend/guitar teacher Satish @ Chips (Tattoo revived!!).

Sleep tires me out with chains of nightmares. Day wears me with the incessant activities of its day.

I wanna get away to a beautiful beach where the sea is clear and the sand is white. Waves to surf and fish to eat.

Where my eyesight is perfect and my skin is clear.

Yesterday I spent 3 hours on ironing Starfish's shirts. They were crumpled and made me feel like ironing the creases out. If being a housewife is a professional job I may just consider doing it.

I don't like the term though. Housewife. I'd call it, Butlress (pron. But-erl-ress).

Hi, I'm a Butlress. I decorate, iron, clean, cook, massage, read, write, draw, travel for inspiration, I walk the dog, and sleep till anytime I want.

Do I sound desperate? I think I'm desperate.

I haven't felt this lost for awhile.

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