I am at my sickest yet this year and I've decided, I'm sick of getting sick.
So I told my "respectable" boss that I would like to go back to being a part time teacher instead of being part of full time management staff when really, I'm just a stand in.
I didn't mind it most times. Not until now that I've realized, they're not my style.
I had hopes for Mainspring when I first joined them in November last year. Until money became the matter. I thought they'd be different. What was I thinking.
It isn't my business ultimately. Our goals, weren't the same after all. So I'm done feeling obligated to them. I'm taking back what belongs to me; time.
Slumdog Millionaire had a huge part in this overnight transformation. The sadness of the world were too much to bear.
At one point I had wished to be like every Singaporean else. I thought perhaps if I were more money oriented I could stay at a job for a long time. Instead of constantly looking for a hole to fix and a passion to fulfill.
Unfortunately I came to know that Starfish's mom thought of me as a lazy arse. If at this point Mrs O had thought that I had turned on her, it wouldn't break me as much as the thought of Starfish's mom. And I wonder why.
I wonder why because, I know fully well that the only person I ever had to prove to, was myself, and yet, I felt every inch of my morale breaking.
I haven't felt this depressed since Fred Chua.
If someone, or something would tell me just where am I going wrong...
No comments:
Post a Comment