X-Men First Class (re-run) / Across The Universe (re-run) / The Ugly Truth

On expecting blues and what-nots...

It's coming to a close. It hasn't been easy. It's still all so surreal and unexpected. It's reminded me of how blessed I am of where I've come to and share with. If it's the hormones talking it's never been this clear who I will never let go for the rest of my life and who I will keep out.

I'm soooo unsure but I'm excited and anticipating. Things are about to get wild.

Ruroni Kenshin / Les Miserables / Seven Psychopaths / Silver Lining Playbook / The Talented Mr Ripley / Zero Dark Thirty / Wolf Children / Looper / Oz The Great & Powerful / The Incredible Burt Wonderstone

While there are folks I no longer want to associate myself with, life has its way of doing the opposite. Although quite strangely, the experience was more peaceful than bothersome. I hope that's growth.

Then there's the MIL, throwing all sorts of tantrum like it's the only way to get our attention. (Referring to the last time she was in town). For someone who nags with such an unbecoming amount of conviction, I suppose it's hard to realize that the reason why she don't get much hoot is because of how unlikable this personality flaw is. Growth IS hard and while it is for everyone, it isn't well taken to.

This is exhausting. But whatever doesn't kill, makes me stronger right. Keeping everything crossed.

Blood Diamond / Hurt Locker

I have been immobile for a loooooong time. Think I've slept through for 5 weeks and I don't remember nothing but trying not to barf. Eating, drinking, sleeping, communicating, housekeeping were difficult. It's only since a few days ago that I managed to finally gorge and hold down a full meal. 

Everything else just seem surreal.

Was on an emo ride last night, watching some of Michael Jackson's performances on Youtube and then couldn't stop sobbing when I realized our children will never get to know the King of Pop of all the millenniums to come. 

I know MJ lives. His legacy too huge a magnitude to die out. But it's just different, knowing he no longer breathes on this Earth.

I hope this Earth lasts long enough to keep MJ's music going for eternity.

A Warrior of Summer's Hope

29 September... explains all that primal territorial instincts.

a warrior... or summer's hope... 
there's a slight preference over each other for trivial reasons...
it won't actually matter.

They will be part of each other.

Resident Evil: Retribution / Dredd / Premium Rush

I am mood swinging like maaad.

One moment I'm so happy doing all sorts of stuff and the next I've got these unwelcoming, judgmental noises just running through my conscious mind almost non-stop.

I'm still trying to figure out if it's cos my period is running late or the annoying fact that I am still so fucking annoyed with the amount of self-righteous idiocracy I have to co-exist with.

For one, I am to keep the unwanted junk just because I have space and two, I am also to rent out our room just because I have spare.

Is the privacy of a newly-wed couple not allowed in this lifetime anymore?
Are people so insecure and defensive that they are becoming so painfully assuming?
Am I supposed to self-righteously help out or selfishly fulfill my own desire for happiness?

I am, truly, a self-righteous bitch. I've always known that. And I do sometimes, selfishly shove my self-righteous opinion into faces that annoys me so. Other than that, I keep my self-righteousness to myself. Because I do respect that fact that they made their own choices and lived the life they want to live.

And yes I do scoff at anyone that I deemed immorally unworthy of any self-righteous respect coming from me but at least I have that decency to keep it to the confinement of my damned mouth.

Oh I do get so painfully annoyed. I really do not care for any sort of 'advice' especially when I do not need one when it is something so trivial as to whether I want to keep my junk in this space of mine. I really... really... do not care for any of that.

What also annoys me is that, these almost unbearable annoying traits (or opposites) are surfacing closer to home. And now, thinking logically, I am in an extremely painful position where I have to decide whether to continue to suck it up or make that cruel (albeit relieving) decision to leave.

I am this close... to cutting myself off from their self-righteous world... should they not realize to keep their self-righteous opinions up their own self-righteous assbrains.

The Lady / Think Like A Man / The Hunger Games / The Pursuit of Happiness / Mirror Mirror / Rent A Cat

We escaped for 20 days to the L.A. to visit our bffs and while it was an ecstatic reunion and an enormous breath of fresh crisp air, I can't help but feel really bad about how incredibly relief I'd feel if I could just take off and leave familiarity.

It wasn't one of those trips where the grass is greener on the other side.

There were dangers, uneasiness as we visited the tourist town of San Francisco, the feeling of being a complete tourist, being an easy target. The San Diego zoo, unfortunately an all too familiar sight. The inconvenient travelling in L.A. (very used to the super efficient local transport system). Not that it's that bad in L.A. but having a car works as easy as taking that bus to Northpoint.

While the only economic awareness I have of the States is that employment rate is on the low, frozen probably, I love, I absolutely love the fact that people are just being people. Totally aware of each other's space. This could sound really selfish but it's honest. It made sense to me.

Here, it's a hypocritical island. People pretend to 'think' for you but they're actually thinking about themselves. It's probably just me but I definitely refused to be a part of the hypocrites, where it's the majority here.

I need to make do with what I can and what I have. Here, there is very very little I can make do with. I realize the authorities are PROBABLY doing its best to make things work in this country for most of us but, I feel like the minority and since asking for the country to move towards my ideal goal is a tad too selfish, I will make my move instead.

I just hope when that happens, nothing will try to keep me.

The Dark Knight Rises / The Dark Knight / Batman Begins / American Psycho

I thought I'd forgotten. The obsession returns and the perfect distraction. I'm not sure what's bringing about the panic attack this time round but my intrinsic sixth sense tells me it's the coming of the MIL. It's sparking off a whole lot of peeves; manipulation of human rights, the unintentional good intention, my own definition of obsessive compulsiveness etc. I've been on short breathes for almost a week now and the only time I felt a better sense of calm was when Christian Bale is on screen. Sigh the intensity. Looking forward to escape.