Ratatouille / Vicky Cristina Barcelona

I've watched Ratatouille so many times but it never fails to bring back the sparkles.

I'd like to inspire and instill understanding, honesty, love, peace and harmony amongst humanity. It sounds too grand a scale but I'm thinking more like paying it forward.

I know it starts with me and I'm still working on it.

I've come to accept a few things I couldn't before. The understanding of not really able to accept certain attitudes (if in my case) and that for others, it's just basically a different life and choice or even timing.

I hate myself less every time I hear myself spouting un-pleasantries in my head when certain behaviour gets on my nerves.

I've come to like having some privacy on these thoughts.

Bodyguards & Assassins / Coco before Chanel / The Town

Feudalism. Revolution. Communism. Democracy. Politics.

It's necessary. Unavoidable. But can't they just do it like, gently?

Evolution worked out just fine only at a natural rate.

We're no Titans and I think Mother Nature has proven that size does matter.

I think ideas are meant to enlighten rather than influence.

I'd rather understand than blindly take sides just cos it seems to suit better. I hate that I'm still guilty of the latter. Cos trying to understand isn't easy.

Sigh... always with the easy way out...

How 'bout that selfless good deed. Does pretending to agree with the mother in law counts as a selfless good deed? It burns me up to oblige since I'm so stubbornly opinionated. And if I just went along it makes at least one person happy. But then again, it's not exactly selfless cos I'd be keeping trouble away, for myself, which should make me feel, good...?

Joey Tribianni's right. There is no such thing as a selfless good deed and I'm okay with that.

From Dusk to Dawn / Detective Dee / The Legend of Chen Zhen / Shutter Island / Outrage / some samurai japanese movie

I've been a full time housewife for about 3 months now. I must say, I'm getting the hang of it. Although not quite on the routine. Then again routines never really worked for me. So I just go with the flow. And setting the discipline in motion as well. My sleeping hours are just not normal enough.

I won't say I'm the best, yet. Still working on those cooking skill. The cleaning though, is my forte.

So I haven't been the best of moods in between, but I figured it's usually like this when you're trying to figure something out... All the thinking about whether I've made the right decisions... thus affecting my confidence, my central of gravity, my good conscious & subconscious... I was mental.

And also while in the midst of all these chaos, I was completely aware of how supportive Starfish has been. From the mood swings to the tantrums to selfishly asking for time out and taking me to that restaurant which I had cravings for that juicy, juicy steak and I was convinced it would swing my mood the other way... which we didn't get to go by the way because of well, my mood swings.

His patience made me grow up a little every day... I feel precious...

I am the luckiest bitch ever.

There's also the sister's wedding to prepare for. We were running errands as and when. Getting all the props ready. Praying to Mother Jesus Mary for the best, really. And happy to say, that all's gooooood!

I also had one of the best birthday. A treat from the mei mei; Universal Studio. Receiving birthday wishes from those closest to heart and mail from the bestie, a Chomel cystal crucifix & flower and a laundry basket I've been eyeing on. I'm easy to please.

Yes these are the things that matters; love & happiness...

Blessed be, my loves.

Snatch

I may have just learned to shut up.

I've been in such terrible mood swinging phase its pissing me off.

Recently I've been praying.

Praying for the strength. Praying for more strength. Praying for ultimate strength for others.

I haven't prayed so much for such a long while.

I dunno if my bloated stomach's been affected because of the whole negative aura that's been conjuring around/within me.

Sigh this is depressing. How like that.

How. Like. That.

I NEED TO FIGHT THE DEMON IN ME.

Resident Evil: After Life

There's the routine which I never got routed into.

There's the bitch in me I could never get used to.

There's the idealist in me whom I haven't got in touch with.

There's the siren in me I've yet to release.

There's so much more to know when I thought I knew enough.

******************************************************

System of a Down - Toxicity

Conversion, software version 7.0
Looking at life through the eyes of a tire hub
Eating seeds is a past time activity
The toxicity of our city, of our city

No, what do you own the world?
How do you own disorder, disorder
Now somewhere between the sacred silence
Sacred silence and sleep
Somewhere, between the sacred silence and sleep
Disorder, disorder, disorder

More wood for the fires, loud neighbours
Flashlight reveries caught in the headlights of a truck
Eating seeds is a past time activity
The toxicity of our city, our city

No, what do you own the world?
How do you own disorder, disorder
Now somewhere between the sacred silence
Sacred silence and sleep
Somewhere between the sacred silence and sleep
Disorder, disorder, disorder

No, what do you own the world?

How do do you own disorder
Now somehwere between the sacred silence
Sacred silence and sleep
Somewhere, between the sacred silence and sleep
Disorder, disorder, disorder

When I became the sun
I shone life into the mans' hearts
When I became the sun
I shone life into the mans' hearts

******************************************************

The Expendables

I didn't know I'd have such crush on action men.

**********************************
Eminem ft Rihanna - Love the way you lie

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

I can't tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now there's a steel knife
In my windpipe
I can't breathe
But I still fight
While I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right
It's like I'm in flight
High of a love
Drunk from the hate
It's like I'm huffing paint
And I love it the more that I suffer
I sufficate
And right before im about to drown
She resuscitates me
She fucking hates me
And I love it
Wait
Where you going
I'm leaving you
No you ain't
Come back
We're running right back
Here we go again
It's so insane
Cause when it's going good
It's going great
I'm Superman
With the wind in his bag
She's Lois Lane
But when it's bad
It's awful
I feel so ashamed
I snap
Who's that dude
I don't even know his name
I laid hands on her
I'll never stoop so low again
I guess I don't know my own strength

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

You ever love somebody so much
You can barely breathe
When you're with them
You meet
And neither one of you
Even know what hit 'em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling
Yeah them chills
Used to get 'em
Now you're getting fucking sick
Of looking at 'em
You swore you've never hit 'em
Never do nothing to hurt 'em
Now you're in each other's face
Spewing venom
And these words
When you spit 'em
You push
Pull each other's hair
Scratch, claw, bit 'em
Throw 'em down

Pin 'em
So lost in the moments
When you're in 'em
It's the rage that took over
It controls you both
So they say it's best
To go your separate ways
Guess that they don't know ya
Cause today
That was yesterday
Yesterday is over
It's a different day
Sound like broken records
Playin' over
But you promised her
Next time you'll show restraint
You don't get another chance
Life is no Nintendo game
But you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave
Out the window
Guess that's why they call it window pane

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

Now I know we said things
Did things
That we didn't mean
And we fall back
Into the same patterns
Same routine
But your temper's just as bad
As mine is
You're the same as me
But when it comes to love
You're just as blinded
Baby please come back
It wasn't you
Baby it was me
Maybe our relationship
Isn't as crazy as it seems
Maybe that's what happens
When a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is
I love you too much
To walk away though
Come inside
Pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don't you hear sincerity
In my voice when I talk
Told you this is my fault
Look me in the eyeball
Next time I'm pissed
I'll aim my fist
At the dry wall
Next time
There will be no next time
I apologize
Even though I know it's lies
I'm tired of the games
I just want her back
I know I'm a liar
If she ever tries to fucking leave again
I'mma tie her to the bed
And set the house on fire

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

***********************************

SALT

She's as beautiful as ever and August Diehl, the inglorious bastard kind I like.

Evelyn Salt & Mike Krause's love was like Beth Orton's and William Orbit's own version of Dice...

Tough love...

******************************

Beth Orton - Roll The Dice

She said I put a spell on you
He said there's nothing I could do
And I wouldn't love the way I do since I began losing you
And nothing can compare to when you roll the dice
And you swaer your love's for me
And she doesn't know if she can keep it together forever

She said I only wanted to possess you
It's dangerous
He said I only try to impress you
It's strangeness
And I wouldn't love the way I do
If I didn't know it was true

And I'd never love the way I do since I began losing you
Nothing can compare to when you roll the dice
And you swear your love's for me
And she don't know if she can keep it together forever
And nothing can compare to when you roll the dice and you swear your love's for me
And she don't know if she can keep it together forever...

******************************

William Orbit - Dice

I was crying over you
I am smiling I think of you
Where your gardens have no walls
Breathe in the air if you care, you compare, don't say farewell

Nothing can compare to when you roll the dice and you swear your love's for me
Nothing can compare to when you roll the dice and you swear your love's for me

I was crying over you
I am smiling I think of you
Misty mornings and water falls
Breathe in the air if you care, you compare, don't say farewell

Nothing can compare to when you roll the dice and you swear your love's for me
Nothing can compare to when you roll the dice and you swear your love's for me

Virtuous sensibility
Escape velocity

Nothing can compare to when you roll the dice and you swear your love's for me
Nothing can compare to when you roll the dice and you swear your love's for me

Breathe in the air if you care, you compare, don't say farewell...

******************************

2 very sweet & gentle girls approached and invited me to join their bible study group so they can share how meaningful life is.
We have a soul and life doesn't just end here, she said...
I said I'm okay & thanked them for sharing.

I couldn't even begin to explain what I have fathom since I became aware...

Or rather, since the idea of Jesus who died on the the cross, didn't.

I figured it's not in my place to judge but I do have the sneaky habit of hitting where it might hurt.

Or so I think...

Resident Evil : Extinction

It's been...

1 month since besty left for L.A.

20 days since I quit ASIN.

1 week since Granny's passing.

Only, why does all these seem like such an exaggeratingly long time ago?

Starfish has just started on his PHD. And already I'm so proud of him I could cry just thinking about it.

Sometimes I wish I was half as determined and passionate as he is.

Inception was such a mind blasting movie we haven't had any mood to watch any new movies.

I'm happy. With myself and how things are moving along.

Just need a little getting used to.

*********************************************************

Verve Pipe - Never Let You Down

I'm trying to keep my feet on the ground
I'm getting to like this feeling I've found
I'm getting to love
The thought of having you around
And I will never let you down

Your friends are well-meaning
When they said, no-one is good enough for you
But if they play with your emotions
Dismiss the notion
And do what you have to do
Cause people don't take chances with their hearts
Since I met you I have past the hardest part
So remember one thing
I will never let you down

I'm trying to keep my feet on the ground
I'm getting to like this feeling I've found
I'm getting to love
The thought of having you around
And I will never let you down

Sometimes you feel defeated
But it's OK
You're not the only one
And all the complications
Bad situations happen to everyone
It doesn't matter how it ended or began
Sometimes the best that you can do is change your plans
I hope you understand that
I will never let you down

I'm trying to keep my feet on the ground
I'm getting to like this feeling I've found
I'm getting to love
The thought of having you around
And I will never let you down...

*************************************************

Inception (x2)

4am. Tired. Can't sleep. Lost. Need to control. Myself.

Prince of Persia / Despicable Me / Toy Story 3

To rid the pettiness of the environment seemed too naive a task.

Life has taken a step back. I'm back to where I was 4 months ago. This time, a different choice made.

My priorities has always been the same. But for some reason, somehow along the way, distractions veered me off track and I start focusing on things that don't mean any more important. My energy drained and I couldn't care less.

I get anxiety attacks all day long because I lose track (and energy) of things I need to take care of.

I'm tired. I'm not fitting in. And I refuse to.

The besty is leaving for L.A. soon. I don't know what I'll do. I haven't thought about it. Don't really want to.

But I know I'm happy seeing how the fairy tale worked out. Happily ever after has only just begun.

As for me, empowering as I feel, vulnerability isn't far off.

KickAss / Iron Man 2

So it's come to the point where I'm dying to state the obvious.

I'm no saint. So I hang on to the good people I've come to treasure and steer clear of the cynics and the selfish.

I love you good people.

Alice in The Wonderland

Ever since I started doing corporate hours, I realized the problem with unruly management is that there is just too much pettiness in the world.

The insecurities of a manager causing tension between staff by their unnecessarily condescending tone. The irresponsible comments made by the one who calls all shots stirring the misunderstanding sort of disrespect.

The managerial position is a very difficult place to hold. They had obligations to suck up to people they themselves don't fancy. They're in a position where every letter of their word counts.

We hang on to these words like our life depends on it.

I absolutely refuse to hang on to any of anyone's words. So much so that I am willing to give the benefit the doubt to the Low-EQ lot. Though it did take a whole load of my ego. I'm starting to feel like the smile is cramping up on my mouth.

I'm no saint. I'm as petty as everyone else. I just get so tired of the barbaric mess that I didn't wanna get sucked into it. So I make jokes and laugh and earned myself the "cute" label which I seem to have come to terms with it.

It's laborious. Having to deal with these 5 and a half days a week, 8 hours a day for the rest of my working life.

And what's worst, is when you thought you could shake all these off once you step out of the vacinity, the one person who could make you forget all the pettiness, isn't there for you.

The one person you need to hear or hug from. The one person you married.

I am this close to hurling that Willier and all the others out.

Jumanji / The Ruins / The Fast and the Furious / Majide (Japanese gameshow) / Interview with a Vampire / Pursuit of Happiness

Everything about Bangkok feels like a sleazefest. I don't want to be judgemental, but it's hard not to when every where you turn, there are these ang mohs strutting around as if they own the sois. These men who are either cheating on their wives or not having some sort of goals in life except to have some cheap crude sexual fantasies fulfilled.

I dunno who ruined it for Bangkok. The Thais themselves or these ang mohs.

Imagine walking down Orchard Road and seeing mothers with children beggars, cabbies waiting to rip you off... It's disturbing.

All these makes me want to learn more about the situations in Bangkok.

I admit there had been some stereotypical thoughts going in my head before this trip. But I had always thought it couldn't be worst than what's in my head. And then I saw, and fell sick. Literally. The air was so bad I couldn't stop coughing.

Bangkok is moving too fast for it's own good. It's got luxury malls surrounded by unhygienic food carts, flea markets looking to rip off values beyond its quality, and the beggars had me feeling skepticism rather than sympathy.

I know life is hard, least to say trying to lead a life in poverty in a third world country. I pray and hope for the authorities to do what's best for their people rather than for their own benefit.

I've seen what I've thought, and I honestly didn't like it one bit. But it did remind me that I'm in a much better place than they are and therefore any rights to complain, isn't mine.

The Invention of Lying / Sleeping Beauty

Where the Sun rises in the East.

It was incredible. Awesome. And right now, since being back for about 2 weeks, I've been having some serious withdrawal symptoms.

All the temples visiting made it a very spiritual trip. But even that aside, the culture, so strong and respectful, gave me a wider perspective of the Japanese. It was a civilization. An overworked society, but so cultured. It was all pride and quality. Pride upon their own beliefs. It was almost as if they were not judgemental, unless you give them a reason so unethical.

Disney Tokyo was lovely and there, I felt and tasted snow for the first time. It was. . . as I'd heard a Japanese girl saying, "kawaii".

NIKKO was a little too cold even for Starfish. Our stay at NIKKO INN was a tad incredulous starting with Starfish having to check-in at the under renovated reception which resembled an interrogation room (with a single orange light bulb hanging from the ceiling, a wooden table and a chair) and the small, palm sized TV in the living room, and last but not the least, especially to Starfish's horror, we had to make our own futon beds.

I get the feeling that's why Starfish fell sick. LOL.

All in all, a return trip is a must. Maybe sometime in spring, when the sakura blooms and the weather doesn't kill.

Detroit Metal City

“Go to DMC! Go to DMC! Go to DMC!”
I’m freezing in Trioon right now. I couldn’t blog live. So I had to save in Word Document.

I realized, the whole blatantly-ignoring or staring-back with such uncomprehensive respond as if I’ve just said something foreign, isn’t just an Asian thing. I just had one Caucasian did that to me. Then again, maybe English was foreign to her.

I’ve said it. I’ve quit the Springers and will be serving sympathy notice till my Japan trip. I was feeling a huge amount of relief at first. The relief of not having to deal with being short changed amongst other repulsive behaviour. Then again who am I to judge. It IS their business.

So I’m moving on to something that pays better with better career prospect.
Today, for some reason, I felt this rush of sadness when I thought about the fact that I’ll be leaving the Springers soon. I’m not sure whether Olivia’s coo-ing instigated this unsupposed sadness, or am I actually sad AND worried about that fact that I might not be able to find a job before my Japan trip.

Doesn’t help that I’m constipated. Literally.

Sherlock Holmes

Put two grown impeccably-intelligent boyish-men togather, I go ditzy.

The old British humour, I like. Sarcasm at it's class.

Which reminds me, how much an obnoxious turn off it is when the local uses it; it's just not cool.

I have been working everyday for the month of December. The kind of working life it used to be at Brewerkz and Zoo. I kinda like it. I like the change of environment. Like the sitch I get exposed to. Definitely like getting the extra pocket money.

Sherlock Holmes was a nice morning Christmas treat from The Moose. Very christmassy.

The eve was celebrated at the Norfor's. Big prezzie from the sister. Adorably packed chocos from the princess and a christmas song shared by the J. Haven't felt like Christmas in a couple of years and I'm glad it didn't feel too far off even when it isn't with the aunts and cuzzies back at Negri Sembilan.

It was nice and cosy. Just the way I like it.

"I wish it was christmas todaaaaeyyyy..."

Avatar

Too nice. Tooo nice.

Sam Worthington, my new man on the list. Although I've never quite fancy a SAM. Unless it's a girl.

Steve Irvine, Michael Jackson, David Carradine, now Brittany Murphy...

All of whom I've reacted with a genuine shock; a defense mechanism. My naive mind denies any death before my own. I couldn't believe and truly finding it hard to accept that these glamours should face death at such an untimely hour of my life.

My folks think I'm naive. I may be. Honestly I'd prefer it no other way. Although some parts of me, wants to think the positivities of making that break and be relieved of financial obligations. Perhaps money can be good. Unfortunately for me, living in an era of where money talks, I just can't see the good of it.

To me, it's (money) become a religion which we manipulated to our own conscientious convenience. Money is good when you get to buy gifts for the love ones. To provide for those in need. Money is evil when you want more and will stop at nothing, not even with a nagging conscience, to get more.

Where I live, I see more of the latter.

Starfish thinks we should treasure money, so money will follow, and I, of course, snapped.

I have never been comfortable around money for some obscure reasons. When there's a chance of getting more, I simply turn away from it, thinking there's always a catch.

And then I calmed down and started thinking... Money IS neutral. It is a necessity in this day of age. Although I'd much prefer a time where we'd be trading items, but I guess money makes it all the more convenient. So, fair. I've finally accepted that money is a necessity.

But that don't mean that I'd go looking for more. I'll take my chances when my time is ripe.

Usual Suspects

I'm confused as to whether it's Verbal Kint or Kevin Spacey that I'm attracted to. There's this subtle charm within the characters that I like; makes it all the more intense.

I've been thinking about my year 2010 resolutions. And thinking about making only ONE resolution. I realized I don't do well with too many goals in mind. But I do believe with one set, others will follow through. I just gotta choose the right one.

So far, I know that this year had been one angry year for me.

Besties and I are planning to usher in the new year with cocktails. A happy drink to start the year with.

Trips to Japan are in the planning. New jobs are in the planning. Driving license is in the planning.

I see changes in 2010. Drastic changes.

2012 / Superman Returns

2012 was a tad bit heavy. Really don't fancy the idea of seeing Earth in smithereens. The idea of Noah's Ark again somehow hit a very dark spot though...

Had a re-run of Superman Returns. I forgot how classicly handsome he is...

Suandy's 18th birthday was celebrated over the weekend. Chilling out at Novotel. Tucked away at the ends of Clarke Quay with a quiet view of Singapore River and the cannery... I like. We all like.

And work sucks. I'm in too much of a financial stress to want to stick through anymore. I'm way underpaid for the amount of obligated favours I thought was to my convenience.

Arrghhh.

Paranormal Activity

According to The Times; a potent peice of work. I love The Times. They give such accurate reviews.

A freaky halloween treat indeed, thanks to Yz & Jay.

Noa has been the focus lately. She looks pretty even at the age of 10, but her sneezing and on-off wailing is worrying.

I'm onto Prince of Persia again. Downloaded the extension pack and within 3 days, I'm close to unvealing the alternate ending. I'm feeling slight fitz from the excitement.

My recent thoughts involved demons. Should they really exist, they'd be the one thing that could really make me piss in my pants. But I'm intrigued... I'm really intrigued.